How Can Coaching Help You Discover The ‘New Normal?’
How do you come out the other side when a global crisis brings unprecedented changes? We face an uncertain future because of the Covid pandemic and the fear of a virus that is a threat to life. Coaching will enable you to see how a crisis and unprecedented changes can also bring opportunities.
Coaching has two main facets. Firstly it is performance focused which means it is concerned with helping people work to the best of their ability and achieve peak performance. Secondly it is person centred. This means that the person being coached has important insights and sets the agenda for the coaching conversation.
In many organisations people have experienced what was called ‘Coaching’ but which was in fact mentoring. A mentor wants you to benefit from their wisdom. They provide expert advice, have a directive approach that is focused on a range of business tools, solutions, models and strategies that help the client to perform better. A Coach empowers you to draw on you own wisdom.
Countless people have benefitted from coaching in their work and personal lives. However, if you ask a person who has experienced coaching ‘What is a coach?’ you will get a wide variety of responses. There are a variety of coaching models, many of which have come out of management and organisations who judged the benefits of coaching by results such as higher levels of performance, team building, improved productivity and other positive outcomes specific to their industry or company.
Non-Directive Coaching There is a major difference between working with a mentor and a professionally trained non-directive coach. One reason why professionally trained coaches must engage in supervision at least 4 times a year is to make sure that they do not fall into the trap of mentoring rather than coaching their clients. Making any kind of change is challenging and there is as much learning for a client in failure as there is in success. That is why I tell the coaches who work with me as their Supervisor, “Never be afraid to send a client out with a pebble in the shoe”.
‘Business Coaching’ is probably one of the most confusing terms in the coaching world as it includes Executive Coaching, Performance Coaching, Team Coaching, Leadership Coaching, Communication Coaching, Relationships Coaching, Conflict Coaching and many, many more. One reason why coaching is such a misunderstood concept is that some professional coaches are focused only on the performance facet and ignore or neglect the person-centred facet.
People live integrated lives. They bring their work frustrations home with them and their romantic or marital relationships issues to work. A person’s physical environment or their financial problems have an impact on their relationships, career, leisure activities, spirituality and personal growth. Increasingly executives and senior managers who receive coaching which is focused on helping them improve their leadership and team performance will seek coaching outside the organisation in order to work through personal or relationship issues or when they have become disillusioned with the organisation and want a career change.
New Normal The terminology that is deployed around the words ‘New Normal’ assumes that these words have a universal meaning and are clearly understood. That is not true. An online definition of ‘Normal’ is ‘Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected’. The persistent use of the term ‘New Normal’ highlights what is atypical and changing. These words suggest that we are looking at a new reality, a future that is unusual, unexpected and far from any standard one would describe as ‘Normal’.
When lockdown happened many of us were knocked off track. One issue is we have no certainty. We don’t know if or how we will get back on the track we had mapped out for our future. If you have to travel on a different road without a map and with no knowledge of the speed you can go or the detours that may confront you a Life Coach can offer the support you need as you explore where the right road is for you during the time of transition.
Whether you are a parent, the CEO of a major corporation, a small business owner or have lost your job, you have major changes ahead. You had no choice about lockdown, you have no choice about social distancing or if and when the Government closes down or opens up a business or office. You do have choices about how you and your family cope with what the media calls the ‘New Normal’.
In the hothouse atmosphere of lockdown people realised that the skills that work in business frequently do not work in personal relationships. Our family relationships are as good as our communication pends on being proficient in the three elements of effective communication; talking, listening and hearing. The majority of people are great talkers but not so skilled at listening. People, who wrongly assume that listening and hearing are identical, fail to understand how they contribute to the misunderstandings that occur in those “You said” versus “That’s not what I said” arguments.
Normally when people speak they have an expectation that those listening hear what they say and understand the meaning they intended to convey. People who take part in the same conversation or who attend the same meeting will often give different and opposing accounts of what was discussed and agreed. Do you know why? When people interact with each other they do so on the basis of a multitude of presuppositions.
We all make assumptions about what is and is not true. Tensions arise if people assume their colleagues set out to manipulate, misrepresent or mislead them. Disagreements happen when people focus on different, though equally accurate sets of information. A statement like, “I feel frustrated” raises questions, about what or by whom. “Everybody feels like that” is a generalisation that can sound factual if spoken in an authoritative tone of voice.
Effective Communication is complex. Often there is a significant difference between what is said and what is heard. Misunderstandings happen because most people judge themselves by their own positive intentions but they judge others by how they react emotionally to how they interpret what they hear, which may be very different from the communication the speaker intended.
I can coach you in the communication techniques which will improve your personal, professional and social relationships. There is a widespread assumption that if you and I speak the same language we attribute the same meaning to the words we use. We don’t. How to communicate effectively is an important life skill that is hugely valued and appreciated by clients. Coaching couples to understand that there is a world of difference between listening and hearing has saved the marriages of couples I coached who were on the verge of divorce.
There is no one definition for the words, ‘New Normal’ or ‘Coaching’. These words have the meaning attributed to them by the speaker and listener. Coaching enables you to see how the words and language you listen to shapes and reinforces your interpretation of what is meant and influences how you respond or react to the communication.
How will Life Coaching help you discover, what may become the ‘New Normal’ in your life? After almost 20 years working as an NLP Master Practitioner and Life and Coach I have challenged hundreds of clients to appreciate the imbalance when the logical, linear parts of the brain are highly developed but they left undeveloped their self-awareness, intuition and creativity. This is the time when all of us will benefit from dipping into our wellsprings of untapped potential, to go deep to find our unused talents and resources and connect with the courage that is there. Trusting intuition has saved many a person who was on the brink of disaster.
There is no doubt all our futures will be very different from the past. A person who wants to make significant life changes has a need to talk freely and in total confidence about what is important in order to get clarity about their options, to explore how to get back on track or decide if they need to set out on a different road.
The coaching relationship Wouldn’t it be helpful to have a supportive relationship with a personal coach who will tell you absolutely the truth – the truth about where you are strong, where you sell yourself short, a person who believes you have the talent and personal resources to deal elegantly and beautifully with the major changes that lie ahead? How supportive would it be for you to work with a trusted person who has a picture of you as ‘your best self’, a trusted person who constantly holds you to that image even when you can’t hold it for yourself?
Whether you want more from life, more money, more work/life balance, more intimacy or less, less conflict, less stress, less financial pressure, you will benefit from working with a professionally trained non-directive Life Coach who will empower you to have the confidence that you can and will manage the ongoing changes in the most satisfying and holistic way you desire. What makes the Coaching Relationship unique is the significant role you get to play in designing the goals you set out to achieve and the coaching relationship that will work best for you.
Coaching empowers you to make your ‘Best Self’ the ‘New Normal’
If you would like a one-to-one coaching session please email or telephone Carmel to make an appointment.