UNDERSTANDING COMMUNICATION NLP
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There is a widespread perception that if two people use the same language they will both attach the same meaning to the words they use.  Often they don’t. 

The identical words have power to be helpful, amusing or harmful depending on how the listener makes meaning of what is heard.  For example the doctor asks a patient, ‘Did you wake up grumpy this morning?’.  She replies ‘No, he was sleeping so I left him there’.

You can carefully select the words you use to convey a message.  If you are not getting the response you want you may not be giving the message you intend.  A wife asks her husband ‘Can you leave the bin out?’  He says ‘Yes’.  She gets angry when she finds he didn’t put it out.  Women are more indirect in their communication them men.  ‘Will you please leave the bin out this evening’ is a direct communication that is more likely to get a positive response.

A question like, ‘Why didn’t you do that?’ is likely to make a person feel put down.  The question ‘Why’ puts the asker in a superior position.  You have to answer to me which puts me in a one down position.  A far better way is to ask a ‘How’ or ‘What’ question. 

Words are only a tiny part of communication.  Tone of voice and body language have a huge impact on getting the message you intend to convey across.

Muterbating words

Must, Should, Ought and Have to dis-empower.  Change to ‘I want to’, or ‘I choose to’ and you become the manager of your own life.

And, But and Even Though  say pay attention, butt out, or what comes first is more important.

available on request

For a booking please contact:

 
Chrysalis,
Donard, Co Wicklow, Ireland.
Tel/Fax: +353 (0)45 404713
Email:  peace@chrysalis.ie
Website: http://www.chrysalis.ie

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