Irish Times
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Health Supplement 14 December 2004
Are you balanced enough for a good life


Carmel Wynne

Are you aware that you can be and do anything that you b e l i e v e is possible?  ‘Belief’ is the crucial factor in deciding whether you feel successful or unsuccessful. 

A senior manager in a company may feel fulfilled and happy with what he has achieved?  Another manager with the identical status, salary and perks may feel dissatisfied.

How can that happen?  It’s not the position in the company but the beliefs about the position that make for satisfaction or dissatisfaction.

Self knowledge, the ability to understand yourself and explore your beliefs and values about achievement or failure are key to finding satisfaction in your career and in your relationships with family and friends.

Every person has a unique approach to life.  Some people are very clear about what they want.  Others lack clear goals.  Others still achieve their goals but feel dissatisfied

One can be aware that something is not right but too busy with the pressures of work and family to define what exactly is at the root of the dissatisfaction.

Having balance in your life is a vital component of emotional wellbeing.  Almost everyone has expectations about what we want from work and family relationships. 

Many apparently successful men and women have the external trappings of ‘successful’ careers but feel so stressed that they no longer enjoy work and are too busy to have fun or take pleasure in any leisure activities.

We don’t live our lives in separate compartments.  Fun, recreation and a social life are important and frequently overlooked.  All these different aspects have an impact on how happy we feel.

If you are dissatisfied with your quality of life it’s worth reflecting on how you are caring for your physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  If you focus on some areas and ignore others your life is out of balance.

Self awareness is at the core of family life as well as of successful business relationships.  Peter Drucker in his book ‘Management for the 21^st Century’ stressed that self-awareness and the capacity to build mutually satisfying relationships provides the backbone of strong management.

Having outstanding professional qualifications and skills may promote success in the workplace but they have little to do with creating balance in your life.

A survey in British Columbia asked 195 business owners what they felt were the most important and desirable qualities when it came to hiring new staff.  Out of a possible 187 choices the quality most prized was ‘common sense’.

It’s hardly surprising that the business owners wanted staff to be responsive to customers, deal with them effectively and to talk and write in a relevant way.  The recognition that strong leadership begins with self-awareness, knowing who you are and what your values are is gaining credibility.

Being aware of emotional intelligence and the mind/body/spirit connection was once dismissed as a fad but that is no longer the case.  There is a great emphasis placed on holistic living and emotional wellbeing.

A surprising number of otherwise intelligent people fail to recognise why their lives are out of balance.  A man who gets a promotion may believe that this is wonderful 

He may focus on the positive change it will make in his bank balance unaware that it may have a negative effect on others aspects of his life.  For example a promotion means he has to work longer hours to get on top of the job.

This means he has less time to spend with his family.  He will enjoy the new status and the higher salary but feel stressed by the extra responsibility and the changed attitude of colleagues.

The demands of the job mean he has little time with his children, no social life, and can’t get to the gym.  With less exercise and being too busy for any form of recreation his stress levels rise, his health is adversely affected and his relationship with his wife is under pressure.

It is good to be aware that change in any one area of your professional or family life affects many other areas.  When you recognise this you have the potential to create a balanced and fulfilled life.

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